Hey there friend! I am having a not so good day I just found out my sister is dating someone I used to be in love with 20 years ago.But this whole story is so much more than that one sentence. I was blessed with 2 half sisters, but I have always said just my sister’s. I am the oldest and we all went through physical, sexual, and emotional abuse in our house. so I guess being a few years older the other two girls was closer to each other than me.
As we grew to be teens i still never had my sisters to share things with ,my dad kept me under him so I didn’t have a best friend or a close sister. My sisters would try to mess with my boyfriends or guys i liked but my dad would put them up to it at times but it still hurt so bad cause they were my sisters and we should not mess with eachothers guys, I mean thats how i felt. So we grew up went our own ways ,but my little sisters stayed close loved each other shared life and I was the one who was mentally unstable plus had addictions. I would be messed up on drugs make a mistake that would hurt my sisters. I cant even remember some of the stupid things I have done but i am so sorry for it.
We lost our mom over 3 years ago and I have made so many changes and have healed a lot of my issues and I am sober. So I thought maybe we could try to find a new relationship as older ladies with our children but me and my sisters are so different or our lives are to full already but we have not made nothing work. I keep holding on to maybe they could love me like they love each other but I still get pushed to the side. And I have no feelings for this guy my sister is with now I guess I am just feeling the hurt that the reality is she does not give much thought about me or the pain it could have put me in. I just have to accept and realize I will never get that sister relationship i longed for.
Everything in life has played us against each other and I guess when they say theres to much water under the bridge its true. Till next time