Good morning and thank you for choosing to read this ordinary woman’s words today. I can never express or tell you enough how much creating my blog and having you read it has added so much depth and love to my healing. Of course I did not realize the huge impact it would make in my life. I know we all have our own paths to healing our mental health issues and addictions. But I used to be in the worse places in my life. I mean I could not feel love ,not even when I looked at my children. I did not want to keep living my life with all the pain and the bad memories and thoughts that was always in my mind. I just could not see a better life or love ever coming back in my heart. After almost 30 years of wrong choices and abuse and feeling so empty and lonely I did not believe that I or my mind could ever change.
I tried a lot of different things at first cause I wanted the change until I gave up. I ended up laying my addictions to rest except darn cigarettes. So I was clean but it seemed to make my mental health so much worse. But I still stayed clean but I was really struggling so that was when I just had it I prayed to God and told him I wanted to die I could not keep living a no love or no feeling but pain life. By the end of that prayer I made the promise to read and learn and get to know god deeply. For I know a good 6 months I read the bible, I read spiritual books daily and self help books as well and prayed daily. I also finally found strength to talk about my past and accepting it. And I promise to you I started to see love in my kids, nature and it just went from there my thinking was changing I started seeing things I was great ful for. I just wanted to let you know what finally worked for me. There was a time when hope did not mean a thing to me now hope stays in my mind cause if there was hope for me there is hope for us all. I truly do care for all the people who have felt like I once did it is the worse way to be but I truly know you can find that ultimate healing path so stay strong and keep searching for that place of hope and maybe giving the good Lord a shot may be that freedom you need. Thank you for being here and till next time friend.