Starrsallthingstrue.com

Hey how are you? I was just thinking about the whole valentine thing and it’s awesome but I have to be honest my ptsd, msnic depression and the trauma I endured through men in my family I don’t think I’ve truly ever fell in love I was terrified of men or I thought they were all dogs and I made my standards of a man beyond reality I’ve had 3 relationships sice I was 17 and I spent alot of time alone I was so afraid of how I would be treated that I didn’t want anyone my first relationship I was 17 he was a good-looking guy and I was young we lasted 10 yrs and had a kid but I was kinda mean to him most of the time it wasnt love we both thought we were hot the next one I was 30 it lasted 3 yrs and we got married I was in a downward spiral he stepped in so that was not falling in love either then I’ve been in this last relationship 9 years and once again I was it a bad episode and I was lonely it was a year after my second boyfriend we had the worst 3 years but since I’m better he’s changed also so it’s ok now but love had nothing to do with it bottom line I would be in a deep depression then would start drinking heavy than I’d find me a guy but I know and understand my ptsd took a huge part also it’s just hard to find and fall in true love when you are in your struggle the way to do is work on you and try to get some healing done then you can look for that partner we will choose the not so good choices if we don’t try to work on ourselves I just wanted you to know how love and my struggles went together have you fell in love? Please let me know I truly care about these things in your life good nite hope you can sleep well and if the good Lord willing I will talk to again in the morning

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